


Why can't it be me?

by Rhye_Meow



Category: The Legend of the Sun Knight
Genre: Friendship/Love, Jealousy, M/M, POV Alternating, POV First Person, Romance, Smut, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-10
Updated: 2014-03-13
Packaged: 2018-01-15 04:57:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1292251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhye_Meow/pseuds/Rhye_Meow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I love you" is what he could not say.Not to the perfect Sun Knight. So he pours all his love through food. </p><p>Story of how the Ice knight kept his love hidden for Grisia- his first love. What he didn't know, is a certain someone is loving him in secret too.<br/>This contains smut and boys love. Although i tried to write it in a romantic, kind of way, if you do not like this genre, then please do not proceed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I got the crazy idea for pairing through my friend's love life. His personaity matches Ice so much.. (if you're reading this, im sorry for using you as referrence teehee! ;p)
> 
> Note that LSK does not belong to me, all it's original characters and story line belongs to the author yu wo. Does not have anything to do with the main story and it's entirely fanfic. Though this is set somewhere in vl3, it is not intended to modify the main story in any way.

_What did just happen? Did Sun just proposed to the princess?_

Just as i was completely shock to this news, Knight-Captain Judgment patted my shoulders, and looked at Sun. 

-Stiff-

_Why? Why do you have to pat me at times like this?_

Trying to check myself if my expression is starting to waver. I shifted my gaze to the princess. She doesn't seem surprise about Sun's sudden declaration of love.

_What is going on?_

Could it be that the princess and Sun is actually dating in secret and now that the King seemed adamant about marrying her to the Son of God of War; he was desperate not to lose her? 

No, that's not it, Sun's Vice-Captain Adair; just a few days ago was gravely wounded by the Son of God of War, he's probably planning something against that guy.

I'm trying to comfort myself by this idea. But honestly, I'm very scared. All these years I've loved Sun, but ican only love him afar. How can i tell him i have feelings for him, no. That's not possible. I just comfort myself to the fact that Sun Knight is not interest in women. That's my only soul console.

Oh another knight propose? What a fiasco! I see, this might be a ruse to hinder princess's marriage to that man. Sun is really vengeful, ruffling his feathers is something no one should do.

"...But what's even more unbelievable is that Sun actually had an affair with the princess.." Storm whispered.

_What?!_

I strained my ears to listen to what he was telling. Apparently, a few days ago the princess went and met Sun, when he learned about that Elijah's existence . The princess was trying to appease Sun's jealousy.

Ah so that's it. Sun really loves her huh. Well he went to the palace a lot with his teacher when he was little. It's not impossible for him to meet her and fall in love. Looking at her, she's really beautiful. 

_My heart aches. I want this day over..._

It's late at night and i am still in the kitchen, waiting for the pie i made to cool. While i am doing this, idecided to make a batch of blueberry chocolates.  _Sigh_ .. Can't be help, no matter how much  i try. I just can't help but love him. Seeing him jubilantly eating what i make, makes me happy.

* * *

 

_ Knock Knock. _

"It's late. Why aren't you asleep?" A deep voice stopped my stupor.

I didn't need to turn around to see who it was, i just kept whisking the melted chocolates and said, "Have you known about this for long?". 

"No.." Judgment answered me and dragged a chair out to sit behind me. I could feel his intense stare.

"He's your best friend, how could you not known he was dating her?" I asked him accusingly. I'm still whisking, beating the chocolate in the bowl like i was mad at it. My cool icy expression is long gone. Oh heck, we are alone anyways.

I heard Judgment stood and lock the door, and gentle footsteps follow.

"What are you doing?" I ask him as he took the bowl in my hand, and put it on the table. He licked his finger that had a smear of chocolate in them.

"Hmm, it's too sweet... I see that you're still making treats for him." He asked.

I shift my gaze to the table, with a nonchalant voice i ask" Why won't i make him this? I give all twelve holy knights their sweets right?"

Judgment didn't answer, he just kept looking at me, eyes full of doubt. Well of course he would, he's the only one who knew what i felt for Sun. He once caught me eyeing him longingly, he asked me if i love Sun that day. Seeing how i cannot lie to him, I just nodded. At that time, i felt his eyes shown a little hurt. Is he in love with him too, I wonder?

Later i discovered that they were pretty close. So when I make blueberry treat for Sun, i ask Judgment to passed it along.

From time to time he gives me news about Sun. How he looked when he eat the pie i baked, or something like that. Once he told me he accidentally exchange his sweets with Sun, and Sun spew the bitter batch of chocolate in his face. I tried to imagine how Sun looked like that time and i can't help but burst a giggle. On the very rare occasion - almost as rare as Sun eating bitter chocolate , Judgment Knight smiled. I felt he's treasuring Sun very much.

"The pie's cool now, i can wrap it up. If you could, please give it to Knight-Captain Sun for me? Also, this honey biscuits are for you." I adopt an icy expression again and gave him the honey biscuits while im wrapping the pie.

Judgment Knight grabbed my hand and turned my face around "What are you do-ump.. " A kiss planted on my lips. At first it was just a smack, but Judgment squeezed my jaws to open my mouth and forced his tongue in me, gently swirling. His breathing ragged and i heard him groan. "Umm, " _  i can't breathe!  _

I punched his stomach with one of my free hand. But on par with strength, it's obvious that I'm not at advantage. However,Judgment stop and release me. Lost for words i mumbled "You... you..! While trembling. I cannot believe what just happen.

Judgment, looking at me with eyes obviously hurt. He must regret what he did. He tried to speak but iinterrupted him.

"A holy knight,.. no a Judgment Knight acting like a criminal.. Do you think i am that desperate for a touch that anyone will do?" I felt betrayed. I trust him like a brother and he used my feelings.

"No. I know that you love Sun. And i am just someone who knew your secret. But did you ever wonder whyi know how you feel about him? Did it ever occur to you that I'm looking at you the way you look at him..That's right, i love you. Silently supporting your wishes, i stood beside Sun. Yes, he is very important to me. I treat him as a best friend. No, not only that. He's my brother..But you're important too. Seeing you hurt like this.. hurts me too." His voice tremble a little. The cool and composed Judgment Knight no more, face a little pink. Dishevelled hair, and shoulders shaking.

My mouth froze in permanent "ah", i can't believe what I'm hearing. Looking back, it all make sense.

He made a step towards me as if trying to measure if i calmed down. As reflex, i step backwards. 

This surprised him a little and made him stop in his tracks. Before i could say I'm sorry, i didn't mean to react like that, he bowed his head and said "My apologies, you're right. I acted like a lowly criminal. Just think of it as a dog that bit you. It won't happen again." He turned to pick up the pie, and before he turn, he looked at the honey biscuits i made for him. He picked it up and without looking at me he said  _"I didn't mean to hurt you.."_  

He silently closed the door behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unrequitted love finally burst.. 
> 
>  
> 
> Warning..  
> Smut content. Please do not proceed to read if you do not like this genre.  
> BL

Tossing and turning in my bed. That's what i have done for the past few days.

The proposal fiasco ended awkwardly. The Sun knight withdrew his proposal and gallantly accepted defeat. The knight Elijah won the princess hand in marriage, and Knight-Captain Hell, rejoined the Twelve Holy Knights after years of spying from i don't know where.

A lot of things happen. 

Eversince that day Judgment left after confessing his love for me. Things between us returned like the usual. He will show up in the kitchen , asking if i have sweets for Sun. We also see each other often at the conference room. He often gives us instructions how to proceed with the patrolling duties, documents that needs second look, me accompanying him to arrest a criminal. Things went very smoothly. As if nothing ever happen...

As if nothing ever happen.

I wish i could talk to Judgment. It's true, he did surprised me. Whatever maybe his reason, to lose control over yourself and force a kiss on someone is not the right thing to do.. But if what he says is true; if he really love me, that means, unconsciously, I have hurt him.

I scowl at the thought.

I have to make it upto him. We can't act like nothing happen. I don't want it this way. Having a unrequittedlove is painful, so i understand why he look like that when he left. 

I decided to bring Judgment Knight some dark chocolates. Since he hate the sweet kind, guess this should do. It's late and he is probably correcting paper works in his room. So i guess that's where I'll go to look first. 

_Knock._

"Who is it?" A deep voice asked behind the door. I exhale before answering "It's me, Knight-Captain Judgment. May i have a bit of your time?" 

A few seconds later, he opened the door and close it behind him.

Huh? Is there someone inside his room? 

"Yes?" He asked, his question startled me. It felt like i was intruding something. 

"These are for you, they are the pure cocoa kind, so they are not sweet. To even out the flavor, i just add a few drops of milk and honey." I said as i handed him this, he look surprised. With a hint of happiness.. he said "Thank you." And then open the bag and eat a piece, like he always do.

As if waiting for me to say something, he looks at me. Then i finally decided to cave and ask "Can i come in?" Seeing as he is not inviting me inside. Standing in this hallway is kind of awkward.

He paused for a bit and with a stern expression, he answered "No." With no explanation why he refuse, or without asking me what i wanted, he just gave me a very cold 'No'. This hurt a little.

I felt my mouth twitch a few times but i tried to keep my cool. I briefly ended our meeting and said "Never mind, I'll just say it here. I'm sorry for hurting you too. I will not bother you further. Goodnight, Knight-Captain Judgment." With this i turned around. 

"Wait." I heard him say very softly almost like whispering. I decided to pretend not to hear him, but he continued to speak, this time with a commanding tone. "Knight-Captain Ice, come to my room, i forgot to discuss something with you."

I wanted to retort something rude but decided to agree. I realized that i am starting to act like a girl,  so let's just get it over with.

As i went inside Judgment room, i'm stunned in surprise.

It's really messy. Not the usual neat and presentable room i always see. There are piles of book on the floor. Tons of documents to correct at he table. Cup of tea that looks like it hasn't been washed for a few days, clothes either clean or dirty laundry spread at the bed. I'm really tempted to ask is he is really Judgment or someone who pretends to be him. I'm only a few seconds away from running through the door and ask Blaze Knight to purify him when he said. "Please sit at that chair." Pointing at a desk chair. As an icy cool fellow, i followed him and not saying anything. "I haven't clean it for a while. Been out of sorts lately." He said in an embarrassed tone.

He sat on his bed. His gaze is on the floor and hands in between the gap in his lap. There was dead silence between us. I don't know what to say at this point. It's really awkward.

Then Judgment inhaled and exhaled, he turn and look at me and said "I love you.." 

I shudder. Not because it's disgusting , no. Because the look in his face is full of hurting.. like smiling and crying at the same(of course he is not really crying).

"Ah..i..i"i open my mouth but no words form. I can only mumble and nothing else. I felt my face burn at his gaze. Those eyes that even the criminals surrender to fear, is gazing at me like a hawk. It's unnerving.

Gah! I can't stand it anymore. Any moment my face might burst beet red,so i just stand and started to walk towards the door.

"Why are you leaving? You- wanted to come in didn't you?" He said. He specifically put emphasis on the 'you'. 

Irritation won over me. Why is Judgment acting like this? I was turning to face him to refute him of his accusation. When i saw he was already in front of me. With chocolate in his hand, he swallowed one piece, then held both of my hands up in my head and kiss me again. He force me the bitter candy using his tongue. As he was swirling it inside my mouth, all I could hear inside my ear is my heartbeat.

Damn! Why am I allowing this? Move hands, feet, kick him out! I'm shouting inwardly but i couldn't move. If this fellow is Grisia, i could say for certain he probably used paralysis or some sort of magic with me. But he is not. He is not my Grisia. He is not the one i love. Stop! Stop!

The chocolate is starting to melt in our mouths, slowly swallowing the liquid i gasp for air. "Omph.."

Lesus finally let go of my hands, he still continued to kiss me;and like a moron, i let him. He clasp my face with both his hands and groan "uhhm". He breathe through his nose, and as he exhale, i felt a warm wet thing slide down my cheeks.

Tears? 

Lesus is crying while he is kissing me. I see, so it's painful huh Lesus. You didn't want to do it too. I raised my hand to touch his cheeks. When i open my eyes, i saw Lesus Judgment miserable state. I understand you too, loving someone who doesn't love you, hurts like hell. Our kissed stopped. Both of us panting really loudly.

What am i going to do? Should i comfort the crying man in front of me, or should i leave? And what am igoing to do after this? How are we going to get past this?

Lesus suddenly grab my shirt and wanting to undress me, while he is doing this, his gaze never left mine. I don't know if it's desperation on my part, or longing of someone else's touch, but i didn't refuse his advances. All this time in my head, i kept picturing Sun. I'm about to betray my feelings for Sun.

"Oohh" i moaned, he licked my neck while his hand traveled to scan my nipples. My voice surprised me too,

"Ha..ha.." Lesus is panting really heavily, i could feel his hands shaking so much.

I wanted to tell him that my knees is quivering and i want to lay in bed. Leaning against the door way isn't a wise thing to do too. Someone might hear us.

Before i could open my mouth, Lesus drag me further in the room and sat me at the bed. He swatted few pieces of clothes on the floor. The crying Lesus i saw earlier is long gone. Now all i see is a man in lust. Breathing through his mouth, his hands is shaking while he caress my face.

We are sitting across each other when he removed his robe. As expected, his body is well build. He slowly remove the rest of my clothing and gently push me to lay. Straddling me, he began to lick me everywhere,

"Ha.. oohh.. oh!" I moan and groan under Lesus. I really can't stop after all. What a lowlife, i said to myself. Why can't i stop?

"Ecilan.." Lesus whispered in my ear. His hardness is press against my stomach. As if wanting my permission to continue. I guess permission is not needed, since i'm arouse too. 

"Breathe slowly.." he whispered.. "ahhh.ahhh.. ha..haa" he insert one finger in my hole. It's so uncomfortable. I clench my fist. He then withdrew his hands and stand, rummaging for something. This surprise me, a few seconds later, he went back to bed and sit. Huh? Why is he sitting i wonder? I prop myself up using my elbow, but i saw him poured some kind of oil in his hands. He then suddenly grab my hips and put both my legs at his shoulder.

How embarrassing!

"Lesus.. wait .. please stop.. it's embarrassing.." i desperately covered myself. He swatted my hand and insert one finger.

"Ohh." that surprised me. It's not as uncomfortable as the first attempt. Maybe it's the oil. From the smell of it, it's rose oil. The one we use for hair. He continued to rub my nipple with his free hand, and the other thrusting inside me. I felt him quake even more. His patience must me collapsing. I must admit, seeing the stern and serious Judgment like this felt pretty good.

"Ecilan.. are you alright?" With a trembling voice he ask me. 

"A little.." i answered. 

"I'm going to put it in,.. breathe slowly.. try not to clench.." he pulled his fingers out. Huh. Didn't realize he had three inside me.

I breathe in and out, waiting for Lesus,.. Jolt.. "aaaaahhhh.. it hurts!" I screamed. I can't help it. It's stretching me out and it's painful."..ha.Lesus.. please stop," 

"Ngg, can't.. ha . Oohh." He just thrust deeper."Eci..lan.. it's tight.. please relax.." he went and thrust some more. Slam..slam..

"Ohh," Lesus hit something surpringly pleasant. He must have picked up that it felt good for me at that point, and he just kept hitting that spot over and over.

"Ah..ah..ah.." i hugged Lesus back, maybe i scratched it a few times. The pain rescinds with pleasure. He grab one of my leg and let the other rest on the bed. "Umm. Mm.. ha. Ha" he kissed me again. 

The pleasure rising up, i can feel him throbbing inside me. I grab myself and gave it a few tug. "Ohh.. more.. ahh, ahh..ahh" i felt the release of warm liquid all over my hands. 

Seeing me finsihed made Lesus slammed at me like a mad man.. "Ecilan!.. Ecilan!.. ahh.." he pulled out and squirt it all over my belly. As he was releasing, he was biting down my thigh.

Still panting, he collapse on top of me. The sticky feeling between us didn't bother him. He just lean his ears on my chest. Probably to hear my heart. 

I felt a warm kind of feeling. So this is what it feels like to hug someone. To hold someone, to kiss someone. It's hot, painful, good. It's a mix kind of feeling. 

Lesus then scoot to my side. Still naked and sweaty, we looked at each other.

_ Badump. Badump. _

I can hear heartbeats. It's from the both of us. 

Now.. what do i do? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm suddenly craving for something sweet after writing this. I wish i could bake, but i'm too lazy..  
> my friend already read this, and immediately ask me to orphan my work. I said i will. *______* pfffft.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somebody knew that they slept together. What will happen to Ecilan?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I know, it's probably full of cliche' and such.. i still want to write it, cause i'm genuinely having fun!)

"Just stay there and wait for me." Lesus headed to his bathroom. Seeing his naked back walking away from me suddenly gave me a realization. I slept with Lesus and i played the female role. 

The horror! 

"It's hot tonight so i didn't use warm water." He's wiping me with a wet cloth, cleaning the sticky feeling. He's trying his hardest not to look. He must felt really shy, like how i feel right now.

I freeze half the part of the water in the trough and grab the unused cloth beside it. I dip it and wring, then went ahead and cover my face with icy cold cloth. I lay my head in his bed again. And said "Please give me a few minutes and I'll return to my room."

"Ecilan.. i.." before Lesus could finish what he was going to say. A knock on the door stop him starling the both of us. Who could it be at this hour? I promptly sit, obviously panicking on what to do. "Here's your clothes,just get dress. There's nothing wrong with you being here. don't worry." He reassured me. He grab his robe and tidy his hair, the person knocked again. "Who is it?" The deep voice filled the room,In under 10 seconds, Lesus is already decent. Unlike me who is still struggling to wear my pants. Sigh, i envy his robe. I wish Ice Knights can wear one two.*

"Under the light of the benevolent God, i Sun wishes to share with Brother, his loving kindness..." The person at the door rambles.

Oh no. This is just perfect! 

Lesus helped me dress swiftly, then he tidied my hair. Just as he was about to open the door, i ran to the bathroom with the trough with me. That's right! Like a guilty criminal i ran and hide.

Lesus opened the door for Sun. Hearing Sun's voice right after the fact that i betrayed my love for him cause all kinds of nauseating feeling for me. I hit so low. I couldn't take these anymore.

"... can you believe it, me the best man of that warmonger , and i can only bri...hmm? What is this? Is this Ice's coat?" Sun's voice raise a few octave.

What? Oh no! My coat, i forgot to wear it. Panic. I'm starting to panic, what do i do? Right! It's weird that someone will leave a piece of clothing in someone else's room.

"..that's.. yes. that's his. He went in because he gave me that sweets over there. He help me with some of my paper works too, seeing how I'm swamped lately.It's hot today, he might have removed it for comfort."Lesus smoothly recovered.

"Oh so that's what it is.. anyways..." 

Sun's voice drifted in the background. All i could hear is my conscience, the bastard is yelling at me saying GUILTY, GUILTY! 

I don't know how long i sat at the cold bathroom floor, hands press in my ears. I might delude myself that this is just a dream, that i was just too tired and I'm now sleeping in my room.. i could, but my aching hips remind me of what i have done. I love Sun, all these years, all those days as i silently watched him.. ithrew it all away and betrayed that happy feeling.

And who am i supposed to blame? Lesus? No, in fact i admire him. He did what i could not. He seized the opportunity and confessed. He convey his feelings through touch. He did what i could not. 

Tears, tears streaming down my face. 

"Ecilan.." Lesus hurriedly kneeled in front of me and wipe my tears with the sleeve of his robe. "It hurtsLesus." With a very weak voice i said to him.

"I know. I'm sorry." He said and tug my head to bury in his shoulder.

"You not supposed to feel sorry. You've done nothing wrong..  _hic hic_. You.. you stay true to your love, while  i didn't.. i tell myself i love Sun.. everyday when i wake up, i think of him.. and every night before isleep, I think of him..  _sob sob._. I'm scared of losing him. So scared... hu.."  i wailed at Lesus. Completely forgot what demeanor i should show.

Pride be damned.

His robe is full of all kinds of gross stuff from me, but he just kept stroking my hair, waiting for me to stop crying.

* * *

 

_Meanwhile.._

Lesus is hiding something from me. I know he is, he never stutters when he speaks.

The Judgment Knight lying to me? How laughable!

When i as in his room, i felt like he was rushing me to get out of there fast. Hmm, and his bedroom smells like rose oil. The one i gave him for his hair care, but it doesn't look like he's taking a bath.. wait a second! 

Hoho, so Lesus Judgment is hiding someone eh. I bet she's hiding in the bathroom. Ahh! Hateful! Is Lesuslosing his virgi.. i mean dating someone and not tell me?

Curious, i'm very curious to check who she was. But it'll be unbecoming of me- the elegant and noble Sunknight to 'sneakily' open his door and peep.. ah i know, I'll just use my sensing ability to see what her figure...i mean what she looks like.. it's not that I'm really peeping on my friend.. it's not! *ahem*

There he is, ah i knew it. Oh they are hugging.... huh? 

A few minutes after,  the Sun Knight platoon found their captain lurking along the corridor with a permanent 'O' shape with his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *it's a good thing Ice Knights don't wear robes, seeing their weapon looks like a popsicle, then Ice Knight probably has to wear a what..light blue robe?!! O_o *shudder shudder*no please Ecilan, don't wear one!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Absence makes the heart grow fonder...
> 
> On a rare occassion, Ice Knight and Judgment Knight went drinking!
> 
>  
> 
> (Note that LSK does not belong to me, and these are just works of fanfic.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut alert.

"Haa, it's no use.. I'm really beat. I haven't been sleeping for days.. some..one help me.." Storm plead in the conference room. Leaf's and Sun's paperwork was left for him to finish since the two travel to the neighboring Kingdom to attend a wedding. The Son of God of War ask Sun as his groomsman.

Weird you say? That's nothing.

Today the conference room is very cold. Like we are dip in a bucket of ice water. In my left, comes a dark figure we formerly known as Ice Knight. We only have 12 seats in this room (cause this room is specifically used for the weekly and emergency meeting of us Twelve Holy Knights) but out of ten of us that's present here, only 4 is seated. Me, Storm whose half awake and half asleep, Hell(who i suppose isn't aware of what is happening), and Ice. The rest is standing behind me.

"What's wrong with Ice these days? He's really scary! To think that the frosty fella can act like that!" Blaze exclaim. "Do you really want to die? Keep your voice down, he'll hear you!" Metal follow-up. I can't really blame them to react this way. Ice; for the first time , in all these years that we knew him.. is glowering. Not just that, he is somewhat adapting the 'intimidating thug role'..

"Sit down all of you. We need to sort some business.."i ordered, but they are still reluctant to follow.

Blast.

Ice suddenly release a block of ice behind me, hitting above the head of the 6 who cower in fear. He glared at them dangerously and looked at the empty chairs. As if his warning isn't enough, he crack his knuckles...Then like well behave children, they all sit in their respective seats... I guess he's good at his new-found role.

After the meeting, Everyone stayed except for Ice.

"Knight-Captain Judgment, what the hell happen to Knight-Captain Ice? Even his Vice-Captain is afraid of him!" Metal is the first one to ask me. All eyes waited for my answer. With a grave face i told them what happen. "Before Knight-Captain Sun left to attend that wedding, he requested Knight-Captain Ice to make him a month's worth of blueberry treats, and the day he left...(i look at everybody's faces, they are listening intently, some of them even gulp. Not Hell though, he is just listening) Knight-Captain Sun forgot to bring them."

They wince. Some made an "oohh" sound. Everybody knew, never ever waste Ecilan's food, or you'll receive his wrath. We'll if it's justs sweets then it's fine, he can give them to others.. but nobody likes Sun's portion... the sweetness is unparallel.

Although i say this is the cause of Ice's sudden change, in my heart i felt a pang. Sun never left for this much long; is it why he's in a bad mood?

After a long day of interrogating criminals, as usual i went to the toilet to throw up. I admit, Sun's long absence is taking a toll on me too. The bathroom stalls in here only reverberate retching sounds. It needed that long winding speech about God of light this, brotherly friendship that. Chuckle. I guess it's all thanks to Sun, why i developed feelings for Ice. 

A few years ago, Sun sent me on a 'mission' to retrieve a blueberry pancake to the young Ice Knight. I was surprise that Ecilan, a frosty kid is making sweet treats for him. I got curious whether Grisia is just actually bullying him. I open the door to the kitchen and saw Ecilan licking a spoon. After he mutter "hmm, 'bout right.." i saw him smile. I flinched a few times when i saw it. He looks cute, i said to myself. To think the day would come when i'll find a boy cute. Since then, i often caught myself staring at him how he happily makes all the desserts. But i noticed something else too. Although Ecilan is expressionless, when he see Sun; somehow his cheeks show a tinge of pink. That's when i realized that, he maybe giving us all sweets through our taste preference,but  he took extra care in giving Sun hisportion. When i asked him if he likes Sun, he nodded and his ears turned red.(now i think that was callous of me to ask him that.) My heart squeezed a few times that day. That's when i knew what i felt for him.

__________________

 

I closed my door and started water for my bath. It's been a long day. The things to do kept piling up one after the other. Though it's day of rest tomorrow, with Sun's and Leaf's absence, the number of things that needed my attention doubled. Sigh. I never thought Sun's presence actually lessen our work, Sigh. Hmm? I've sighed a lot lately. Ever since 'that' happen to me and Ice, i never get to clarify what are we exactly. Guess there's no need for it. It is what it seems. I love him, he loves someone else. What happen was a fluke. I should just be beatific that i got a chance to hold him in my arms. Him writhing under me from pain and pleasure. 

Shiver.

I'm getting hard again. I've kept recalling the events that night. The sweet night of euphoria. "Ummm,ummm..." these is what I'm reduced to. To touch myself and think of him. I lean on my bathroom wall, somehow the rose oil scent lingers. "Ah..ha.." Ecilan, i want to touch you again. Tug, jerk..my phase fasten,  oh I'm about to erupt. "Eci..lann.." as the hot milky white fluid flowed through my fingers.. once again, i sighed..

\--

The bath was relaxing, now that I've freshen up. I can review the criminal evidence for my cases next week. Luckily, it's not that many so by the time I'm done. I can retire for the night.

Right, I'll make myself some tea...

_Knock._

Hmm, is it another case that needs my attention? Just when i thought i can rest. "Who is it?" 

"It's me.." a familiar voice respond. I scan my room to check if anything's amiss. Perfect. I've clean it the other day and luckily not a thing was out-of-place. 

_ Badump. Badump. _  Ha, my heartbeat is ignominious. I open the door and my jaw drop to my chest.. Ice is holding atleast 4 bottles of what appears to be hard liquor. And bag of jerky? 

"Drink with me?.." in a bashful tone, unmatched to his expression he asked me..

"...come in first." I don't know what to make of this situation. Just this morning, he is a walking bomb, now he is asking me to drink with him. Is he suffering from a break down? I'm getting worried.

"Can i sit here?"he ask pointing at the chair and table set i just bought the other day. Since I'm always receiving guest. I suppose the money is worth it. 

"Please..." i still don't know what to make of this situation. Ice is just sitting opening two bottles. I reckon ihave to drink, though I'm not used to. He gave me my share and he swig his, leaving very little amount. I heard him burp a little. As i was taking a sip with mine, he spoke..

"I kept thinking about us.." Ice said.. Confounding me. I almost spit the alcohol. Cough cough. I try to regain my composure and wipe myself.

"Do, pray tell what exactly are you saying by 'thinking about us'." It sound like I'm interrogating him. This occupational habit!

Ecilan went and drink the remaining liquor of his bottle, and sighed heavily.."After that night i had a good cry over what happened between us, i felt very confused.. The succeeding nights, I'm not thinking about Sun, but you.." Ecilan is scowling.

What does this means?

"Please don't mind it and drink.. i need to sort a lot of things.. maybe, when Sun arrives, I'm going to confess. I'm sure no matter what, he will still think of me as a brother..right? Do you think so?" He asked me with obvious hurt in his eyes. I think he already convince himself that Sun will reject him.

Ah i see, so it's broken heart after all. Guess it can't be helped. Looks like i'll be joining you drown your woe. "Sun's a good person.. so cheer up." That i am certain. 

"You are a good person too.." he said this non chalantly. As he took a bit of jerky in his mouth. Salt remained in his hands, i was thinking of giving him a handkerchief, but he sucked his thumb and index finger. 

Gulp. 

Dear God of light. Is this a torture you've brought on me. Why is Ecilan acting so unguarded in front of me? This made me frown a little. Did he already forgot that i am in love with him? And to casually come and invite me to drink. He is over estimating my control. Or he did not care about me or the predicament he is causing me..

"I can only confide in you.." he stops my train of thoughts as if he heard my questions."..besides you, no one among the Twelve can understand what I'm going thru..I'm sorry if I'm causing you inconvenience.." he looks at the papers in my desk.

Sigh."Do you mind if I continue working while you drink here? We'll be keeping each other company.."

I need distraction. Or i'm going to be tempt to make another move. Now that I've tasted how delectable the fruit, it's difficult not to bite again.

"Please go ahead.." he opened another bottle. This time he is drinking in tiny sips. I just sat across him, reading the documents. occasionally, i took a sip of the alcohol. The taste isn't really bad. It's just it burns the tongue at first, but it slides down smoothly. I haven't realized that i already drank the entire bottle.Ecilan is just staring at me, from the looks of it. He already finished drinking 2 bottles. 

"You know, after what happen that night.. every time i think about it.. my mind drifts on how you always have a serious look on your face. And how you're very dedicated to your duties. I think you're great.. " he said, although still wearing an expressionless face, his cheeks is a little pink.

"Ecilan, i think you should retire for tonight .You're not use to drink so that's enough.." i adopt a stern almost commanding voice.

"I didn't know you hate me that much.." he said in a trembling voice.. his gaze is on the floor..

"What are you saying? Why would i hate you?" I can't understand him. I'm now 70% sure he is suffering from a break down. This is not how Ecilan usually acts.

Tears drip from him, still casting a down gaze.

"You never talked to me after. You never went and ask me for desserts again, you never visit me in the kitchen again..and.. And you didn't even told me that Sun is already leaving that day.. you, _ hic hic_.. you must hate me a lot for sleeping with you even though i don't like you..  _sob sob._.  huu.. and now I'm confused..it's you I'm always thinking of..not Sun but you! What does this mean?.. huu.." 

Ecilan broke in tears. I see, unconsciously. I've hurt him. I just don't want him to get confuse. I just lay low for a while, to give him room to breathe.

But wait.. he's confused? Does this mean?.. i stand up and kneeled in front of him. His face red, and he is still crying. How heartbreaking! I kissed his cheek slightly, he did not flinch. I kiss his lips once, and look at his eyes. He is not objecting. My breathing became ragged again. What am i going to do? Is he allowing me to continue?

"Lesus.. " he called my name in a whisper.. 

_ Snap snap snap. _

I heard all my reasoning snapped simultaneously. With force, i stand up and grab his arms, then i drag him and pushed him in my bed. He is not rejecting me. Or rather, he is willing to do it.

"Wait here.." i said, he nodded and stay flat on his back. I locked my door and lit another 5 candles. This time, i want to clearly see him while we are doing it. I took the oil bottle and rest it on top of my dresser. He seem embarrassed by the sudden increase of lighting, for he is desperately covering his face. Chuckle. I think it's cute. 

This time i took a slow phase. Gently kissing his neck,eyes, nose.. while slowly removing his shirt. He is squirming underneath me.. i nibble on his ears while breathing on it slightly, "aahh" he shivered.. After iunbutton his shirt open, i saw the color of his nipples ares pale pink. It's pretty.. i licked one and he jolted. "Uhh..." he moaned.. i felt his genital's getting hard. "Hmmm.."i swirl the tip of my tongue at it.. ithink he's feeling sensation because it rose up.. while licking him, his hands wander through my hair.. hmm, his touch is soft.. i then pinched his nipple with my finger, he convulse underneath."ahhh...ahh" his moans made me so aroused. I felt i leak a little pre-cum.. 

Got to wait. Got to wait.

I need to calm myself or I'm not going to last. I proceed to removed his pants. His undergarment is soak with pre-cum too. When i removed it, his pink tip dribbled wet.. tempted, i lick it.."ahh.. Lesus, that's.. don't put it in your mouth.." 

I wanted him to feel the pleasure, so i did not heed his plead.. i remove the rest of his clothing and spread his legs apart.."wha..what... ahhh.. ohhh." I give it a few tug and slowly put it in my mouth.. hmm it's big isuppose. Up and down i suck it.. playing the tip with my tongue.. "Ah.. ahh.. soo good.." he is clenching my sheets with one hand, and holding my head with another.. good, he is enjoying it..

Bluub.. ahb.. blub..the sucking sound is so erotic. Up and down, almost at my throat gagging me.. His toes are curling, "..please..sto..I'm cum..ahh..i'm cumming..!"

Squirt.. he yank my hair out in time so that i won't swallow it, but the semen squirted in my face instead. "Ack! I'm sor..ry.. ha.. ha.." still panting and sweaty, he helplessly tried to prop himself up, i just chuckled and licked the liquid near my lips.. when he saw what i did, he blushed profusely.. ah shit, that's so cute. There goes another reason for restraint.

I remove my robe leaving my undergarment on.. i inhale and exhale loudly. I need to calm myself.. i'm so wet already and it's really hard. I suspect if i put it in, I'll be bursting within three stroke..

"Ecilan.. can you turn around and raise your hips for me? I wan't to see you fully.." i asked him.

"eh.. but that's.." without waiting for his reply, i turn him around and raise his buttocks almost near my face.. he did not object, but just buried his face through the pillows. I sit crossed legs and pour an ample amount of oil through his buttock's crevice, he flinched a little in surprised.

Using my thumb, i slowly massage his hole, it started to twitch.. it's pink too. Ha..ha.. i'm breathing really loudly. I'm so excited!

Slowly i inserted my index finger.. it's soft and hot inside.. "omph.." his moans muffled. This excites me even more. I added two more.. stretching him. "ummpp.. ha.. ahhn.." he is moaning really loud, if iremembered correctly the spot where he squirmed in ecstasy is ... this!

"AHhh!" He turned around to look at me.. so this is the spot he likes.. i stretched him even more, thrusting. "Ahh.. ahh.. ahn..Lesus!" I started to tug his genital up and down while I'm fingering his hole. I think he is convulsing, after a few minutes he collapse. I check if he came but nothing leaked.. wait? Is that a dry orgasm?...

_Shudder shudder.._

"Ecilan, please hold on to my arms.." I pulled out my fingers and spread his knees further apart, ..with him facing the wall and his back to me. I grab one of his arms and slowly insert it inside him..

"ahh... it's hot!" I exclaim.. no good! I feel like I'm going to cum anytime now. I grab his other arm and began thrusting , "ooohh, Lesus, it's soo.. good.. don't stop!"

Damnit!

"Ngg.. Ecilan.. please let me cum once.. I'll keep going after..."

_ pound pound pound. _

I felt my knees quiver, the pleasure building up, "ahhh..ha..ooo." Ecilan moaned, I hit his pleasure spot over and over.

No used i'm cumming.

"Lesus.. cum inside!" He turned his head towards me, I can only see half of his face, his hole suddenly clenching me tight,. I let go of his arms and hugged his back .. slam slam.."here..i..go.." squirt.. "ha.. ha.. ha,." I pant.

It's so good! 

I pulled him up, still hugging his back, i turn his face toward me and started to kiss his lips.. tongue intertwine.

Unlike our first kisses where i am the only one who brings passion to it; this time it's different. Ecilan, held the side of my face and played with my hair..

I bit the back of his shoulders and said whispered.. "can we go again?"

He answered with a chuckle and said.. "mmm."

______________________

"What the hell happen to Knight -Captain Ice? He is walking funny and holding his sword! I think he wants to kill someone!" Storm Knight said in a hush voice.

"He's much scarier today than yesterday. I bet if Knight-Captain Hell wants a duel, he'll be cut in half no matter how strong he is." Blaze added.

"Poor Sun, he's going to die real soon!" Stone said..

Sigh, i guess i overdid it a bit. I'll apologize later. Seeing him walk like that hurts me a little too. I'm really losing control lately. How deplorable of me.

Just as i was about to ask them to quiet down so i can begin to relay the point of this meeting, Vidar burst through the door.

"Ha..Knight-Captain Judgment, an urgent news came from Leaf Knight!" Vidar is giving me the paper in his hands.

As i read the content, i felt my face paled and my finger trembled a bit. I crumpled the damn thing and slam in at the table.

"What happen?" Stone ask.

Everyone around me panics.

I'm seething with rage but as calm as I can I answered..

"In an ambush, Leaf's been killed.. Then Sun revive him using resurrection spell. However, Leaf believe Sun's blinded and now he's been sleeping; not moving or waking up for the past 2 days..." 

Everyone froze. Blaze even stood up,  his mouth is opening and closing as if wanting to speak but no words form.

I caught a glimpse on Ice, his face is expressionless due to many years of schooling this way of reacting. However, his shoulders is shaking, and I saw a bit of tear at the side of his eyes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is longer than the other ones. I was on a roll.. hehe. Either that or i drank too much caffeine today.. hmm


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who do you love? This question lingers in Ecilan thoughts.. is his unrequitted love finally going to be fulfilled,or is he moving on to his next love..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note that LSK does not belong to me,

Judgment brief us of the situation; the supposed bride to be's been kidnapped and Sun's party pursued. But in the middle of searching, Sun separated from the group and Leaf's been killed. A few hours later, Sun revived him. The intelligence was not enough. So to get a hold of the situation, Judgment deploy Stone Knight for diplomacy, and me if we have to go to battle. We will be departing tomorrow morning.

Later that night, i went and see Judgment in his room, as expected he is really busy with a lot of work that his face is almost buried in his desk. I went in and explain my doubts about this; the rescue mission is so dubious. He just listened to me and ponder.

"I'm thinking the same thing. That's probably the reason Sun asked to leave him behind. He might be investigating something.. and out of the four who has been ambush, Leaf's been killed. He is a long-range fighter, so he might be specifically killed so that Sun will be force to use resurrection spell, hindering him. In any case, i want you both to keep it cool. I have no doubt about all four of you. Sun and Stone can handle the diplomacy. By the way, i want you to keep an eye on Sun, if what Leaf said about his sight is true or not. And check if there's any side effect on Leaf too."Judgment said while he went and correct some of the documents. 

Absent mindedly, i stared at him. He really works hard, not wasting a minute of his time. Hmm, his fingers are long and slender. And looking at his hair, it's shiny and straight. It's well maintained. I wonder if he uses that rose oil... oh no I remembered! 

Touch.

"Are you alright? You don't seem to have a fever." Lesus is touching my forehead as a was spacing out and gawking at him. Is this how a holy knight should act when two of his brothers are in a tight situation? I hate myself this moment. My conscience is glaring at me and shouting YOU'RE A HOLY KNIGHT! NOT A PRINCESS!

"I'm fine. I'm sorry for the trouble. I'll be going now, i still have things to prepare and i need to brief my platoon." I stand abruptly, causing my hips to ache all over. I grunt and held my hip for support. 

"Take your pants off." Judgment said to me. I turn around very tempted to stab his face. I saw him holding a jar of oil. Is he serious? At at time like this?

"Don't take it the wrong way, I'll just give you a massage. I bought this oil from the apothecary. It's soothing for muscle ache and joint ache." He said with a stern face.

I stand straight and hold my hand out,"I'll apply it myself.." I said.

Lesus however isn't going to listen to me. He just grab me again and drag me to bed. He sat beside me and said " Are you going to take it off, or am i going to take it off for you?" The look in his face tells me that he is enjoying this.

Seeing as i can't find a way to circumvent this situation, i stand and take off my pants. Then lay in the bed with my face in the pillows. I heard him chuckling and the bed creak. 

Pours. The oil has a minty, cooling effect. It's soothing and penetrating inside my aching hips. Seconds past, i found myself slowly relaxing. Lesus is gently massaging my hips. His touch has force but it's still gentle. "Is this okay?" He asked..

"hmmm." That's all I could retort.

For the day this ache is hindering me, i almost can't sit. I'm really tempted to ask a cleric from the sanctuary of Light to heal me. But what injury am i going to report? 

"I wanted to do this to you earlier, but I didn't have the chance to. Shall I massage your back too?" His deep voice is drifting in the background. 

"Mmm" is what all i could say. This relaxing feeling is wonderful.

"Are you sleepy?"

"Mmm"

"Alright, i'll wake you after an hour. For now can i remove your shirt too? I'll massage your whole back."

"Mmm"

_Chuckle._

I felt him undressing me, massaging my upper back, my shoulders, my legs and thigh. I vaguely remember him wiping the excess oil off me with a lukewarm cloth. I felt him dress me again.. in and out ilost consciousness and drift to sleep.

I felt him kiss my forehead. 

Ah, what a wonderful feeling.

Blink.

When I wake up, i was sleeping right next to Lesus. 

How long was i asleep? I thought he was massaging me? Why is he sleeping too?

Very slowly i sit and the bed, good thing i wasn't hugging him or he hugging me for that matter. I can manuever myself out without waking him.

I check my surroundings, good it's still dark out. His window is slightly open, allowing a cool breeze to flow. I see the stars, it's position indicates it's just an hour or two before midnight. Whew, looks like islept just a little over an hour.

Just as i was about to walk out of the bed, i got a good look at Lesus sleeping face. His stoic façade long gone, now replace with a relax peaceful look. I brush a rogue hair out of his forehead. He really is a handsome man. Maybe Grisia had excellent prince like demeanor, but Lesus isn't losing to him when it comes to looks. He just wear too much black. Chuckle. 

He might be really tired for him to fell asleep halfway through work. I feel guilty, i actually let the Judgment Knight give me a massage. If Metal hears this, i bet he'll challenge me to a duel.

Okay, that's it. Time to get up.

"Ohmm" 

Shock! Oh he is just mumbling in his sleep! I thought for sure i wake him. 

Lesus lips is wet a little, seems he lick it in his sleep.

_ Badump. _

Gah! What's wrong with me? I'm acting shameless! Just move your damn feet! 

Lesus beautiful hair.

Geez, I'm getting crazy. Seeing Lesus helpless like this. My heart is pounding. What is this I'm feeling? Is this lust? I don't think so. I'm still placid. So what exactly is this? 

Lesus long slender fingers.

Maybe one kiss, just one kiss and I'll know. If this is lust or something else. Yep, act like a total pervert and shame all your ancestor and kiss him!

Lesus sleeping face.

Ugh! Here i go. I'm going to kiss his lips, just a slight soft kiss.

_Kiss._

Hah! What am I doing? Creepy! I'm a creepy bastard! Shameless doing this at a time like this! 

As i gently tried to stand, someone from behind yank me back to bed. My back lay flat and a dark figure lay on top of me.

"Did YOU just kissed me?!" Lesus asked me, his eyes shinning despite the dark.

I gulped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohh, i really had fun writing this chapter. Ice's internal struggle is funny..


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ecilan made a tough decision. Is it the right one?
> 
>  
> 
> Note that LSK does not belong to me.

Lesus is on top of me, saying nothing.. Still waiting for my answer.

"Ecilan. Did you kissed me in my sleep?" Lesus ask me in a hush voice. His face is close to mine. Only inches away. He is straddling me, his elbows leans on the bed for his weight support. Even so, i can feel him crushing me. Either that or I'm just suffocating. I can literally hear my heartbeat. I have no doubt he can hear it too. 

"Yes I did." I answered. The moment i said that,  he plant a gentle kiss in me.

"Uhhmm.." his tongue is really soft. I'm getting use to this. embarrassing or not, it felt really good. He stop for air and look at my face again. I don't know what to do or say. We just look at each other quietly.

Then he stop the silence and said.."Could i take those kiss as you admitting you like me too?" His left hand is caressing my hair. 

I struggled out of his touch and pushed him softly to the side. I sit in the bed and put my hand over my head "I'm not sure.. I love Sun. And i don't take that feeling lightly. Is that something that can banish over night? No. But what i feel for you, that i can't answer for sure." I said. I didn't dare to look at his face.

After a few minutes of silence , he ruffled my hair "Don't worry too much, I'm not going anywhere. Having you next to me right here, is more than enough." He tried to sound as kind as he could. Maybe he sense that this is tensing me up.

"I'm leaving. I've cause you a lot of inconvenience tonight." I stand and walk right through the door.

"Ecilan.." Lesus called out just as i was about to step outside."Yes?" Did i forgot something again?

"Be careful tomorrow please. I'm counting on you. Keep Sun safe." He said. His voice is forthright. His putting his trust in me and my abilities. 

I can't betray that trust. I can't make a blunder.

I faced him and straighten my back "Count on it!" I said and walk away.

* * *

 

Just as i suspected. Something is definitely amiss.

"So you say, Sun bound you, threatened you and teleported to your sister. Is that correct princess?" Stone ask this Princess Ann. From the gist of the situation, she and her sister conned Sun and the others into believing they are actually pursuing the kidnappers. But in reality, she is just leading them in a round about way.

"Yes." She admitted.

"How could he defeat you? You're really strong and his just a cleric!" The Son of God of War, who I believe is Mike, ask Ann in a disbelieving tone.

Stone, Leaf and me snort at the same time. All people looked at us as if asking, 'is Sun really strong?' 

"Anyways, let's leave that matter for later. For now, let's 'rescue' your Princess Alice and Knight-Captain Sun. I'm sure they are somewhere safe," as expected of Stone, he is in a calm state. He handles diplomacy well.

"If Sun hurts my sister, I'm going to ask your country for compensation. There's gonna be hell to pay." This deceptive princess actually dared to open her mouth and utter such trash words. She wanted us to compensate? When they stage the kidnapping incident. I glared at her dangerously and grip my sword. I'm giving her a silent warning not to open her mouth again.

surprisingly, Mike isn't saying anything. From what i heard from Leaf, Alice attacked them too, together with a dark knight and a powerful little girl. Maybe  Mike is mad at Ann too for deceiving him.

Seeing me, Stone held my shoulders and said. "The Sun Knight is a man who upholds justice and law in high regards. I'm sure the reasons why he acted like that towards you, your Highness clears once we see them. However, if you wish to;we can further investigate this event and drag the fact that the kidnap victim is really an accomplice. We're ready to take actions for this deception too," reading what Stone has said, you can almost hear him say ' Do not take us for a fool.' Ann paled when she heard Stone. She can no longer retort. Leaf, being a good guy broke the tension and said" Anyways.. let's head on out! They're probably are waiting for us. Standing here won't do us good!"

It was raining when we found Sun and Princess Alice inside a cave. Sun's dirty and not at all radiant,.smiled at us when we found him. 

I'm really tempted in cutting Princess Ann, she audaciously called Sun 'despicable bastard'. Like she didn't do anything wrong.

Stone tried to confirm Leaf's story about how Sun is blind. He answered Stone's question perfectly, confirming to Stone that he can see just fine. I however, cannot be deceived.

When we teleported back to the Kingdom of Moon Orchid castle, Sun requested a bath, clean clothes and a meal. 

"I'm not good at talking, so I'll help Sun with what he needs." I said to Stone. He agreed. However Leaf wanted to follow me too since he is so concern about Sun's well-being. But Stone stop him.

"Hold it.. you need to tell all that has happen right from the beginning. And the queen wanted a report from us, seeing as Sun is probably too tired. I need to know what i can say to her.."

Given no choice Leaf nodded helplessly.

I saw Sun eating in his designated room. He just took a bath and his hair is still wet, but it was neatly combed. He took his time, elegantly eating his soup. As quiet as i could, i stood there looking at him. 

After he finished eating, Sun gently crawled to the bed. He heaved a sigh and close his eyes. As expected, something really isn't right. 

"Sun..." i called his name out. Testing my theory.

"Oh what do you want? I'm so tired keep it down.."he grumbled. He was looking a few feet to my left. 

That's right. He didn't look directly at me, i called his name and move a few step to my right. As expected, he used his hearing to check my location and that's where he looked.

"Never mind, go ahead and sleep.." i softly said.

As i step outside. My heart squeeze so much. These past few days, Sun is suffering. And i.. what did i do? I slept with Lesus, someone who loves me, but i didn't. 

It hurts. 

I'm lost what to do. I do love Sun. Seeing him this way hurts me.

But what about Lesus? I'm thinking of him quite often. I have so much respect for him. Sleeping with him gives me indescribable feeling of warmth. I never knew that being love makes me feel important. 

Is it all for comfort? 

I schooled my face with a stoic and cool expression once more. 

I need to get my act together. I'm a holy knight, and now I'm on a mission. I need to forget about this stupid love for now.

* * *

When we get back to the temple, Judgment called me and Stone to report all that has happened. He just silently listened. Sometimes adding a few question but said nothing else. He dismissed Stone after, and claimed that he needs my help with some new assignment. Stone understood and leave the conference room.

"How is Sun and Leaf? What have you found out? " he asked .

"Sun is blind. What he use as replacement for his sense of sight baffles me. At first i thought it's his hearing , but that's not the case. He can see things like flies, little cats, and such. So i decided to check into it deeper. On our way here, i switch his gloves with mine. A light blue one. You know Sun never wears any color other than white. When i corrected him , he just brushed it off and said he used all of his, and his hands needed gloves so he ask me if he can borrow it. I think, he can see to some extent but he can't distinguished colors or other fine details." I said.

" As for Leaf, his sight is exceptional. He can see fine details like holes in the wings of a fly 10 feet away. That side effect is like good fortune for an archer. So i didn't think it will cause a problem." ...

" I see. I'll force Sun to admit it. So don't worry... How about you? Are you alright?" Lesus asked me, adapting his concern tone once more.

Guilt flood over me. This can't continue further. I can't string him along in my selfishness giving him false hope.

"I don't understand your question Knight-Captain Judgment. Why won't i be fine?" I ask him in an expressionless face. Like how I'm supposed to.

Judgment jolt and he look confuse. He sensed that my tone is cold. " Are you angry with me? What have idone?"

Desperation flood over , his hands reach mine, wanting to touch it. I stood , not giving him a chance to. He stood too, surprised in how I'm reacting. Gauging my face, he ask me "What's wrong Ecilan? Do you feel tired?" 

He looks too pitiful. Because of my indecisiveness, the proud Judgment Knight is acting like this, and ihate every bit of myself for it.

Stop! I need to stop acting like a girl, wanting to string a lot of suitors to her beck and call.

"I'm sorry Knight-Captain Judgment, if there's nothing else then I'll take my leave." I bow and walk towards the door.

_Slam._

Lesus slam the door shut again. He hugged my back and said" Ecilan, please don't brushed me off. I can take the fact that you don't love me. Just let me.." 

"Knight-Captain Judgment.." I interrupt him. "Let me be clear about one thing. You are free to love whoever you want-as i am. However, what happened between is just lust on my part. For giving you a false hope, I'm truly sorry." I wriggle out of his embrace.

With a breathy voice, almost like crying Lesus said. "Ah.. i understand. I see.."

Feeling something painful throbbing in my chest, i decided to look back to see him. What i saw was not the Lesus Judgment i knew. But a man with a broken heart.

His head gazing down, tears falling and shoulders trembling non stop. 

I opened the door and close it behind me. Saying to myself, it's for your own good Lesus.

That damn conscience is shaking his head at me in with disapproval..

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Ice Knight has snap! What will Lesus do?
> 
> Note that LSK does not belong to me.

I've been sent on an errand to fetch my Captain his breakfast, when i saw something i shouldn't have. I,Adair- Vice Captain of the Sun Knight platoon, saw Knight-Captain Ice dancing in the kitchen!

Should I leave and come back later?

But my Captain might kill me. He isn't waiting any longer. He said he missed a month worth of blueberry treats. 

Damn!

"Knight -Captain Ice, how do you do? My Captain sent me here to retrieve the blueberry cake he requested." I said in a clear-cut voice. 

Knight -Captain Ice slowly moves forward me, looking at my expression and tilting his head to the side. 

"Now that i had a second look, i notice that your eyes had a hint of honey color in them.. it's beautiful.."

"That.. Ah. Thank you, "

What? This startled me. Usually he speak in one sentence. Sometimes not even a word. What has happen to Ice Knight?

Unhurriedly, he picked up a bag and a plate full of cake. Before he gave it to me,he stared at me up and down for whole 3 minutes. "Uhm.. Knight-Captain Ice?" This is unnerving.

"Adair, open your mouth." He instructed.

"O.okay"

Shoot.

"That's honey coated cream bread. Do you like it?" He stuff a little bread in my mouth and gave me the treats and plate of cake.

"Yesh, shenk you. Cough cough," i answered, still very confused.

He nodded and turned back and continue...dancing.

As i step outside the kitchen, began to walk in long strides, then after a few minutes, I brisk walk, then I'm practically running.

Burst.

"My goodness! Adair? Is my brother hurrying to hear how marvelous the God of Light, that he hurried at Sun's side. Sun cannot express the joy with this matter. Oh thank the benevolent God of Light for giving Adair such overwhelming urge,.."

"Captain!" I interrupt him. 

Squinting his eyes he asked.."What is it Adair?" He's now in serious tone.

Still panting i told my Captain what i just witness.

Eyes wide he asked "he.. called your honey-colored eyes pretty?" He asked in disbelief.

I nodded.

"He asked you to open your mouth and stuff bread in it?"

I nodded.

"He.. he resumed dancing afterwards?"

I nodded.

I place the plate of cake and bag of treats in his desk and asked for further instructions. I waited and waited...

"Captain?.."

"Adair, ask Knight-Captain Blaze to accompany me to see Ice. Right now." He stood and rummage his closet, probably to change into his uniform.

"Understood!" 

He's probably going to purify Knight-Captain Ice.. 

A moment later...

"I can't believe it? Ice really is dancing!" Knight-Captain Blaze mutter under his breath.

The two Holy Knight beside me is experiencing the shock of their lifetime. Just standing beside me, not knowing what to do.

"I don't see a dark element within him. Just the same strong water element infuse with holy element. Could it be a curse?" Captain asked Knight-Captain Blaze.

"Mmm.. no, i don't sense any malicious spirit near him. Maybe he just snap. You know he's very angry at you, for leaving all those desserts for him to finished last time. In any case, i don't think I'm needed here. I.. i think it's good that Ice is happy.." although Blaze Knight said this, his face is showing a hint of confusion?

"You didn't see anything, understood?" Captain said sternly to Blaze Knight.

"Yes." He left with hurried steps.

"Adair, I'm going inside to talk to Ice, find Knight-Captain Judgment for me, briefly tell him what happen and tell him i need his help. Make sure not to mention this to anybody else. After that, ask the Sun Knight platoon to secure the area. Nobody's allowed to come in. We can't allow people to see him like this until we knew what's wrong with him. Do you understand me Adair?" He gave a few instructions.

Knowing my Captain, he's really worried for his brother now. Without delaying i answered "Right away, " and dashed out of there.

In a matter of minutes, i found Knight-Captain Judgment with his platoon, he must have sense the urgency in my stance so he waved his platoon to go on right ahead. I explained the situation and he understood right away.

"There's no need to guard the kitchen entrance. Everyone knows it's their holiday today so no one will come. Just do your regular duties and I'll handle the rest." Judgment Knight calmly ordered.

Since he said he will handle the rest, then i guess there's no need to further insist to guard the door, iguess he just wanted less commotion. I went on and join the other members of Sun Knight platoon after that...

Hmm, that cream bread sure is delicious..

* * *

 

_A few days earlier..._

I need to calm down.

I knew right from the start that this will happen. Calm yourself down.

The emotions bashed me like giant waves. Swaying me. Trying hard to stand straight, i dried my tears and tidied myself, leaving that cold conference room behind me.

This is was i get for getting full of myself. He loves Sun. Maybe more than i know. Seeing him in his state, battered, dirty and blinded to top it all up, probably shook Ice very much. 

I thought I have a chance.

I really thought he come to like me too. Kissing him, hugging him. Feeling his warmth. I can still smell hisscent on me. Was it all a dream? Did my love for him cause me to imagine all those nights when i got to touch him? 

Walking through the day is surprisingly slow. The people around me moves in flash. Unlike me, who's standing still. 

"Captain?" 

Vidar is standing a few feet in front of me confused at my actions. Apparently, i walked in the Judge complex and just stand there in the entrance, obstructing everyone who passes.

"I'm just observing, carry on." I coolly replied.

Sigh. Guess this is it. I'm at the end of the plank, looking at the sea beneath me. 

Just be glad you had your chance. I told myself. Yes. I should just be glad I had a chance...

"Vidar, I'm feeling under the weather. So I'm going to retire early for today. In any case, I'm just going to catch up on my paper works, if something needs taking care of.. if you can, please handle it."

After i gave my instructions, Vidar looked bewildered. Figured it much. This is actually the first time iretire this early. The sun hasn't even set.

I went to my room and look at the table. Hmm, i guess there's a bottle of alcohol that i haven't finished yet.. now where is it.. here.

One and a half bottle. Alright, let's drink this. 

An hour after, with everything swirling around me, i close my eyes and tried to fall asleep. 

Lesus....

You know Ecilan, you're so unfair. You shouldn't call my name so sweetly like that.. now all I hear is youeverytime I sleep in this bed! 

Lesus....

......

"Damn it.."

* * *

 

Ice is...? I can't believe what Adair has just told me.

Is he sick?

He seemed fine these past few days. Although he reverted back to saying nothing at all. Other than me, he probably doesn't talk to others... i mean other than me before he decided to totally reject me. 

My only consolation is that, he never stop giving me sweets to my liking. Still thankful that he makes bitter chocolates especially for me. 

Hmm, the kitchen smells good. He probably baked a lot today since the kitchen staff is on holiday.

Creak.

If my heart's been broken when Ecilan left me the other day, then today my heart turned to dust.

I saw Ecilan laying flat on the floor. Sun is on top of him, holding Ecilan's neck. Sun's beautiful golden hair scattered , covering my view of both of their face.

"Nggh." I heard Ecilan groan. Hearing this made my head pound. I step backward from the hurt, and accidentally shove a chair.

Just then Sun slowly flip his hair allowing him to notice that I'm standing, watching them.

Huh, so this is what death feels like..

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bully Grisia strikes! Now he knows what Ice feel for him.. what is he going to do?!
> 
>  
> 
> Note that LSK does not belong to me,

"Oh it's you, the noble holy knight.."Ice said when he saw me.

There's really something wrong with him. His eyes are very puffy, either he hasn't been sleeping or he's been crying.

"Wastelan, whatever it is that's been bothering you, as my brother , you know you can tell me anything right?" I said in a soothing voice. Looking at Ice, he's really out of sorts. Maybe Lesus knew something. Is Ice suffering from a sickness?

Last time i saw him and Lesus hugging each other in his bathroom. Judging from that angle; Ice is crying on Lesus shoulder and he is comforting him...

"I don't think i can tell you.. not you.." he is busy shaking his hips while whisking what i think is egg and flour mixture in a bowl.

Not me? "Why can't you tell me. Have i cause you grief that you cannot give me your trust?"

"No.." he is still shaking his hips.. This is really unnatural for Ice. He looks like a totally different person.

"Wastelan, that's a nice move you got there..why are you dancing?" I asked , trying to adopt a cajoling voice.

Confused, he just stared at me.."..dancing? I'm not.. What are you saying?" He said.

"Look at yourself, you're shaking your hips.. is that not called dancing? I'm very sorry. This ignorant person seems to mistake what you are doing.." where the hell is Lesus. So damn slow.

He looked down and frown..".. i just can't help but move my body, it's shaking really bad this morning, and i can't feel my legs sometimes.."

Panic.

I knew it, he is sick! 

"Ice, maybe you need to rest. I'll help you get to you room. Come now.." i grabbed his shoulders and his arms gently. He swatted me away with so much force that i swayed backwards.

"You can't touch me!" He bellowed.. the shaking is now replace with violent trembling.

As i was gathering enough holy light to cast him a heal, he drew his popsicle.. i mean his divine ice sword and point it at me..

"Hey Ice! What have i done to you? Calm yourself alright!" I shouted .It's no good. If he really tries to cut me, I'll be dead in a second.. 

"I'm sorry.. it's.. don't heal me.. I'm fine.." he said and he sheathed his sword again.

Whew. That was close.. alright, I won't heal him again. I'll just have to wait for Lesus.

"I.. have something to tell you.. but I'm afraid you'll hate me afterwards.." Ice said. His trembling still continues. Good thing he decided to sit.

"Go ahead, I'm listening.. I promise you, no matter what it is.. I wont be angry.." I said, i mean this is Ice were talking about. What can he do that will make me repulse? Time and time again, i said if he was a girl, I've proposed to him already. Hah, I bet I'll be gloriously fat in no time!

"... i loved you,." He said in a hush voice. 

Confused. I'm so confused, why would i be angry with him.." I love you too, you know that right?"

"Hmmn? No, not that kind of love. The kind of love were, you want stay together.. hugging kissing.. that kind of love.." his voice was really soft. I needed to strained my ears to listen..

Oh, so that's what it is..

"Are you sure about wanting to hug and kiss me?" I asked him.

This made him mad, he stand and fumed "Right! I knew it's disgusting, yes? I hate it too,.. i.. i just can't help it you know.. ha,. Ha.. oh!" His trembles are not trembles anymore, it's more like seizures.

I grab his shoulders and shout." CALM DOWN! breathe. good.. breathe.."

"Look at me Ice. Why would that make you disgusting? Never ever say that okay? That's not what i meant. What i meant when i ask you- are you sure you want to hug and kiss me , is because you said you 'loved me'. LOVED.. like it's in the past.. am i right?"

As i said this, Ice face slowly began to dawn upon a sudden realization.

Ha! As expected of me.. I nailed it again! Hehe I'm so smart..

Just when i was about to asked who's the lucky fellow whose waist line is getting fatter from all Ice's sweetly goodness.. Ice suddenly collapse to the ground.

Luckily i caught his neck just in time, saving him from a bad fall.

"Nggh." He groaned. This guy is burning up! 

I noticed that Lesus is standing beside us. Geez, talk about being sneaky. Even my sensing ability hasn't notice him.

I flipped my hair, wanting to ask Lesus to help me stand.

I saw his face like he saw death. What's wrong with this guy! This pissed me off up to no end!

"Are you done gawking? Quickly help me up. Ice is burning up! "I shout at his stupid face.

He flinched and he seemed so surprised." What?" 

Oh he got some nerve to ask. "Help.me.carry.Ice.he.is.having.a.fever." i said that word per word. That made Lesus jolt and he dashed toward us. "Let go of his head gently." He said.

I did and he helped me stand. I cast a low-level heal on him, since he is not injured. He might be stressing so much, so he needs sleep and probably a few medicine for vitality.

"His color improved a little.." Lesus said. Huh? Is it me, or does Lesus seemed so relieved.

We both carried Ice back to his room.. The cleric gave us a few medicine for him to drink and ordered us to prepare him soups. Seems like he isn't sleeping and the acid build up cause by stress made him tremble so much.. Upon hearing this, i caught Lesus sighed over and over. 

After the cleric left. Me and Lesus watched Ice sleeping peacefully.

This poor guy. He's even snoring a little.

I grabbed the medicine and mix in the water, i raised it in my mouth. Just i was about to drink it..

"What are you doing?" Lesus halt my hand that held the medicine.

This guy is really funny. Tempted to check his reaction, I taunt him a little.

"I'm going to force feed Ice this,using my mouth.. what's wrong with that? He (did) love me, right?" Hehe, iwonder what kind of face he makes. This is the times I truly wish i could see color. I want to see Lesusblush! I almost burst a giggle.

Ah thank heavens for this day! I witness a marvelous miracle, Lesus, frown, then scowl, then fidget, then look at Ice and me.. Back and forth. The stupid love-sick puppy look he's making made me so happy! I almost squeal...

I said almost!!

I tried to swig at the medicine once more, testing him a little further. Before i could drink it, he took it from my hands and drink it himself. He then leaned on Ice's bed, and puts his mouth into Ice's. I hear Ice made a gulping sound and he mumbled something. Then roll on his side and sleep some more.

By this time Lesus is covering his mouth.. ha, i'm suspecting him blushing. I smiled and said " I've known you far too long to try to hide things from me.." i tapped his shoulders and stood up. I'm not needed here anymore. 

"Grisia, now that you know about what Ecilan feels about you.. what are you going to do? Are you going to..to.. date him?" 

Lesus, oh my Lesus. If I'm such a heartless guy, I'd probably say 'yes' to your question. Will he cry? That's so tempting!!! Ahem.. 

Since i am a good guy.. yes I am! So hush your mouth! Ahem, anyways, since i am a good guy, i answered him truthfully.

"You're a moron!" 

"What?" Lesus retort.

"Sigh. It's not me he loves.. use your head okay? I'm going to my room to eat cake. I'll tell your Vice Captain I sent you somewhere.." 

I waved my hand at him goodbye.

Ha! As I close the door, i saw Lesus scratch his head and scowl.

My, my.. what a beautiful day! 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really love Grisia.. XD  
> But out the twelve knights, the most interesting one for me is laica metal.. he's so twisted.. i like it! ^_^


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, all we need is a stir or pushed to get in the right direction. Either that, or have a manipulative friend like Grisia!

"After you've finished, i need you to investigate on this matters... I'll send Vidar and Hell later to help you... fix these files chronologically..."

This day cannot get any slower! 

There are a lot of things that needed my attention. A lot cases that need my presence, a lot of things that needs a second look.

Bleh, blargh.. blahh..

Retching sounds again, day after day. Haa.. I want this day to end.

"May the benevolent God of Light...." 

Hmm, let's see. I only have cookies and few blueberry lollipops, i hope he won't get mad and call me stingy.

"Ho, Lesus.. looks like your heads is in the clouds. Want to go home already to see your wife hmm?"

I narrowed my eyes and give him the treats. While i took his handkerchief and started cleaning myself.

"Wha~at? Not saying anything? Geez, missing your 'wife' already. It's been only a few hours. Let him sleep for a bit! Nom nom.. ooh! These cookies are good! Is this from your 'wi~fey'?" 

Grisia is obviously enjoying the fact that he knew my feelings for Ice. But what i don't understand is why did he tell me 'he is not the one Ice loves'. Sigh.

"Just who exactly is my wife ha?" 

"Just how slow are you? You know, for a judge, you're quite dumb huh? Ooh.. these have chocosprinkles!" 

"What's there to understand, I love him, he loves you." I said bluntly.

"Yes ,he said he 'loved' me!" He's grinning from ear to ear.

He must find it so funny that I'm in love with a man, and this particular man is Ice.

Like he always said, if Ice were a woman, Sun will definitely marry him. At the rate of  Sun always repelling women, it's possible he really will propose to him regardless of gender.

"Seriously Lesus, just get it already! He said LOVED!" Grisia growled. What's he getting annoyed for..

wait a second..

"Yes! See? Now you get it? I already told you I'll handle your Vice-Captain. Tch, i gave you a day off , excuse you and be all mushy with him, and now you went ahead and continue working. And here ithought you'll owe me one!" He rambles on. 

I stood up , "Grisia, thank you.."

"Go ahead and lose your virg..i mean confess.. hmm *tilts head* Lesus Judgment?! You! You sneaky bastard! You guys already did it, didn't you?" 

I didn't answer and went out of there. I can hear him wailing saying "No! Why God of Light... how aboutmeee?!" 

I sprinted my way outside the corridor,  a lot of people step aside to make way for me. Maybe the look on my face scared them. I even saw Vidar and i didn't even listen to what he was about to say.. i just told him" Upset stomach.. resting early."

Ha! Bet he wouldn't be knocking on my bedroom tonight. I'm sorry. This is my second time ending my day early, i just could not delay this any longer.

Storm actually heard me and dashed to my side, "Need medicine, .. help?" He asked.

"Have some already. I'll just rest." 

"Got it, rest well!"

When i reached his door, i look left to right to check if there's someone watching. When the coast is clear,i opened it slowly. 

He is sitting in his bed, holding a book. He look at who is the one opening the door. When he saw it was me, he gaze down.

"Can I come in?" 

"Mmm.. please.." he said. 

I see that someone brought soup and bread for him. There's even a glass of milk and cheese.However, it's just resting in his desk, untouched.

I frown. "Don't have an appetite? Want something else to eat?" As i ask him, i sat on his bed and touched his forehead. Hmm, still feverish but it's not that high. 

"No. I'll eat later.. You're early.."

"I wanted to see you, why aren't you sleeping anyways?"

"Had a visitor and we talked a bit. Then i want to read some.. so.."

"You should sleep more."

"I will after thi... gro~wl. Haha! Guess I am hungry."

That was a loud growl. I wonder when was the last time he had a proper meal.

I took the bowl of soup. On top there are heaves of chop cilantro. Heh. "Did Sun brought all these food?" I asked. Oh no, I sound like I'm interrogating him again.

"He did, he told me you are coming here.." he's a little bashful again.

Grisia is really scary. He knew what I was going to do, before I knew myself.

"Oh, you don't have to feed me.."  he took the bowl from me, when I'm starting to stir it."I can't finished all these food. Help me?"

Ah,never ever waste food in front of Ecilan. Alright then. I ate the bread and the cheese. I ask him if he'll drink the milk. He said he wont so I drank it in one swig. While he is still eating his soup in tiny sips, italked.

"Ecilan.. I want to start over."

Mouth agape he just stared at me. Maybe my opening line is too blunt.

 _Gulp_. "Yes..I wan't that too." He said with a touch of smile from his face.

I blinked a few times to check if I'm really awake. Is this true? Am i really hearing these words? 

"Unm Lesus, can I have a water?" Oh, seems like he's finished eating.

"Here, and drink this medicine too." I poured the powdery substance in his second glass of water. When he drank it his face scrunched. "Does it taste bad?" I asked him.

He tugged my head, and kissed me. Just enough to let me taste it. It's really bitter! But the taste however,didn't surprised me. It's that he kiss me again. Hope is rising inside me. Oh God of Light, i don't want to lose this man.

"... all done. Now..I think I'll take a bath." He removed his blanket slowly and tried to stand, I pushed him back to bed.

"You're not serious, are you? You're running a fever!"I reprimand.

"I had a fever.. very well, just sponge bath." He stood up and went to the bathroom. I mean, what right do I have to force him into agreeing with me.

A few minutes after, he went outside his bath, wet all through out. Even his hair. "You said you'll only have sponge bath." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Yes, but when i check the mirror, my hair has lumps of flour. I can't let it dry, or it'll be a problem tomorrow." He said while he was walking towards his closet.

I gulped a few times.

He is only wearing a towel wrap in his waist. "Uhm Ecilan, should i come back when your decent?" I asked not looking at him.

"Why? Is it not clear enough that I'm tempting you?" He faced me, stopping what he was doing.

"What?" I think i heard something outrageous.

"Sleep with me again Lesus.. i want you.."

What i saw was a man, who made up his mind. Resolute; i can see it in his eyes. This isn't lust like he claimed. 

He slowly walk towards me. My heart beats wildly, as if wanting to escape my chest. He held my hand and kissed my lips lightly. I caught a whiff of his scent hmm he smell like lavender. His skin is smooth to touch.

We sat side by side the bed, facing each other. He touched my hair and said" it's really pretty. Like your eye, mouth, nose... all of them is beautiful." He leaned in and kiss them one by one.

My stomach is churning. Ecilan is leading me and being aggressive, is he still sick? 

He took my hand and place it in his chest.

_ Badump. Badump. Badump _

"Feel it? It's only like that when I'm with you..and when I'm not with you, just a little thing that reminds me of you, it's starting to beat like crazy again. I may have like Grisia for a long time, but my heart never beat this wildly for him. When i left that day, i felt like i lost something important. Sleepless nights flood over me, thinking of what i did. Why do i think of you. And why does it hurt. I still haven't figured out what it is.. until i said to Grisia that i 'loved' him.. ahh, so my heart does not belong to him anymore..." Ecilanexplains.

His eyes are close while doing so. It's so eerie, how he is so manly like this. This is a part of him that nobody else knows. Only me..

My hands still pressed against his chest. I can still feel it thumping wildly, exactly like mine!

"Ecilan.. does this mean.. omph" he stopped my question with a soft kiss.

"Yes. You're right Lesus,  i do love you.." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This scene will continue next chapter.. sorry i had to cut it into two.. smutty scenes up ahead.
> 
> Only a few chapters left!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are finally together! The lovey dovey life starts!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut alert.. i've given ample warning already so don't proceed if you don't like this genre.

_ Cough Cough _ . "Uh-humn. My throat hurts, talked too much these past few days.. cough" 

We'll it's true, he' s been talking a lot to me. I can understand why his throat will be sore. He haven't been speaking more than one sentence (each time someone ask him a question, cause he never start a conversation) for more than ten years. So for him to say so much over a span of month, no wonder he'll be coughing and such.

Thank heavens for his sore throat. Because I'm so nervous, the palpitations inside my stomach almost made me threw up.

"Here, drink this water.. " i gave him a glass, standing in front of him not daring to look at him.

Gulp. He place the glass at his night stand and remove his towel; unceremoniously tossing it to the floor. My eyes widen i made a low grunt. His actions resonates in my groins.

He patted the space beside him as if saying'come'. Like an obedient child, i sat.

Ice is still warm to touch, either he is still feverish, or in heat..that I'm not so sure. Cause the moment i sat beside him, he touch my face and kiss me, torridly.

"Mmm..hmmn.." ooh, he's improved a lot. His tongue is gently swirling.. "nggh.." he's sucking my tongue! I can't stand this!

I pushed him down the bed,still kissing.. I felt i had swallowed mouthful of our joint saliva. "Ha..hmmmn.." our breathing became heavier. As i was on top of him, he's untying knots from my clothes. Without holding back, he bit the expose part of my shoulder.." Arggh!" I screamed in shock.

"I'm making my mark.." with a nonchalant face he said. 

"Good, make as many as you want.. hmmmn." 

In the middle of our sucking tongues, biting lips, licking everywhere, I noticed that he is still placid. Does he finds this boring or not enticing at all?

I was already naked and standing proud, I pressed against his thigh and he made a soft mewl.

Sigh.

Huh? Did he just sigh? 

"What's the matter?" I asked, stopping my kissing.

"I'm getting dizzy.. I'm sorry.." he said.

Oh, of course! He just fainted earlier and he can't strain himself! 

Grrr. I'm so stupid being swayed with my feelings that i haven't notice that he is still not feeling well.

I put my hands in his armpit and hoist him.."Up we go,." And i leaned him at his bed headrest.

"Are we stopping?" He asked. He seemed confused.

I covered my groins with blanket and said "We'll continue this some other time.. Rest, I'll stay with you tonight. I don't have an early day tomorrow." I kissed his forehead.

He looks at me with those eyes so mysterious. "Touch yourself.." he said.

What?

"Did i just hear you say 'touch yourself'?" I asked still baffled.

He nodded.

What is this? He's staring at me intently. Does he really intend to watch me masturbate? Is he really serious?

He crossed his arms and stared at me. "Go on Lesus. Show me how you do it." He said.

This little devil!

Fine! I removed my cover and started to stroking it up and down. Sitting crossed legs in front of him, his gaze never break. As i am stroking it, my other hands touched my scrotum, playfully massaging it.

"Ha..ha.." the tip dribbled wet. 

He is intently looking at my facial reaction. And sometimes looking at my hands. I'm surprised at myself for finding it completely arousing. At that moment, I already know what's my future.

This icy-expressionless man will wrap me in his sweet little fingers. 

Ha! I'm so doom..

"Oh... umm.,umm.." as i was about to burst. A small locked of ice formed around the base of my shaft, squeezing it very tight.

"You can't come yet Lesus.." he said in a shivering low voice. He then point at his groin now standing fully erect.

Ah I'm completely at his mercy..

* * *

 

Ecilan loves me too. 

Bliss.

It was supper time and I decided to fetch us food and drinks. course I'll stay with him tonight. There's no way I wouldn't. 

As i walked down the staircase, I caught sight of Sun talking to Storm. Storm is holding his temple, obviously having a headache. Probably from all the incomprehensible things Sun keeps spewing about.

I decided to ignore them and went in ahead. 

As expected of being a Judgment Knight, nobody dared to obstruct my path. Some even threw a darting glance at me. 

After i bought the food, I saw a shop selling baking things. I absent-mindedly went inside. 

"WELC...ome.." the store keeper was shock to see a dark figured wearing a stoic expression entering a pink motif, cinnamon-smelling store.

The people gathered outside the windowsill, all murmuring something about me arresting the female clerk. I wanted to roll my eyes, but decided to just ignore them and ask the nervous woman.. "Do you sell recipe books about baking cakes, or cupcakes?"

"Oh,. Ahm... let's see.. here! It's for beginners so it's easy to follow.." she forced a smile but her forehead is sweating heavily.

"I want something for experienced bakers." I went and look around while she looks for the book i asked. Ho, this strawberry pattern apron looks cute. 

"Here it is, it's new.. just printed a week ago. You'll love it." She seemed much more relaxed now that she knew i was just going to buy.

"I'll take this apron too. Please wrap it up. I'm giving those as gifts."

"Ah,. Ah certainly sir.. right away.."

As i leave the store; floods of baffled look was left towards me. Heh, I'm really getting soft lately. I actually heard someone said "Could.. could it be that the Judgment Knight really loves pastries? I often see himbuy blueberry treats from the bakeshop near us!"

Seems like Grisia is right, I'm already treating Ecilan as my wife.. i laughed at the thought.

\--

When I opened Ecilan's door , i saw him in prone position one feet upwards, buttocks expose.

"Why didn't you get dress.. You'll get sick again.." I put down the food and gifts at his table. And sat beside him, covering him with a blanket.

He is just looking at me and twiddling his hair, "I brought food.. how about we eat?" I said.

"Not yet hungry. Come here Lesus.." he rolled to the side inviting me to join in.

After i removed my boots, I join him and lay in a prone position too. Just wordlessly lying there, breathing steady.. 

"This feels nice.." I admitted. I feel very relaxed and happy. 

Ecilan shove me to the side making me lay flat on my back, seconds later, I felt him removing my pants.

"Hey! What..." I held his hand.

He just looked at me with those eyes again, not heeding my question , he slowly removed my pants and undergarment. He touched my groin lightly and I felt harder and bigger fast. I heard him chuckle.

"Are you really okay now? You know I can't stop in the middle.." I made sure to ask and give him a warning.

"Hmm.." 

 _Stroke. stroke_.

He stroke me a few times before licking it. "Oohh,..Ecilan, don't use your teeth.. it hurts.." i opted to accept all of his aggressions today. Ah, this feels so good.

As i removed the rest of my clothing, I asked him to turn and straddle me facing my feet. At first he is very confused so i decided to just positioned him myself.

He still sucking me up and down.. oh it feels so good. He even use his tongue to lick me inside. "Ha..Ecilan..good." I groan.

With all the pillows behind me, my position is very relaxed leaning at the headrest. His hole, just near my face. I started to lick it..

"Ah,. What are you doing? That's dirty..." he complained and tried to squirm.

Slap.slap. 

I slapped his butt cheeks and order "Keep sucking.. use that tongue more!"

I resumed licking it, filling it with my saliva.. "uhmm,. Blubb,.uhmmn.." his moaning grew wilder.

While licking, I inserted one finger.. Ecilan shivered a lot.. "Lesus, it hurts.. ahh."

Ah so it seems it needed more lubrication, fine then.. i positioned my head lower giving me access to his  fully erected penis. Then i sucked it, up and down like I'm mad at it.

"Omph.. blob..blubb.." simultaneously, we gave each other oral sex..

"Mmmn..hmm.."I started to convulsed and so does he. This is really arousing. 

Ha, this is really perverse.

_Shiver.._

We both cum at the same time.. him coughing as I came deep in his throat. His fill is still in mouth as itugged him nearer to me face.

"What... ha.. what are doing Le...ohh!" I spit his semen in his hole. Licking it. There.. lubrication- problem, solved.

One , two, three.. four..

Four fingers rubbing inside him. He's writhing in so much pleasure. He seemed to forget to control his voice.. "AHh.. ahh.. cumming again!" 

I caught his squirt with my hand just in time, and lather it all over mine.. While he still panting, i turned him over so that he can relax his back to the bed..

"....deep breaths..kay?" I slowly thrust in him,. Hot! It's soft and hot!

"Don't cover your face.. let me see it please.." still not moving, i removed his hand covering his eyes.

Hmm.. beautiful. Face red, white smooth skin. Light colored hair.. and only i get to see him like this. It's only me who gets to hear him moan and beg like this..

"Lesus?"

"Hmmn?" I caress his face, still stuck in him not moving an inch. I want to savor every moment of this..

"I love you Lesus..." he touched my face too.

I felt an impulse to kiss him lightly.

"I love you Ecilan.."

That night we both didn't get to sleep a blink..

* * *

 

"Listen up, this is an order from our Captain ; the Sun Knight. Nobody is to disturb Knight-Captain Judgment and Ice in their quarters. Seems like they caught a horrible stomach virus. Some people claim to hear screaming and praying to the God of Light in Knight-Captain Ice room. So if you don't want to come in contact with it, never approached their rooms. Let's pray to the God of light for their fast recovery.."

Adair's voice boomed loudly at the plaza gaining Grisia's nodding in approval. As expected of my Vice Captain he said to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last two remaining chapters... ♡♡


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Sun Knight's jealousy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut alert.

The 38th generation Sun Knight is the epitome of perfection. Just like the first Sun knight in the legends; dazzling golden blond hair, skin white as milk, enchanting blue eyes, and prince like demeanor. Ah, such a perfect holy knight, with mouth full of praise to the benevolent God of light.

"Look, look.. isn't he so handsome?!" 

Course I am.

"And the skin.. it's sparkly!"

Expensive body treatment. Take patience to maintain but worth it.

"Ha! Such cold eyes... it's like he's stripping me bare.." 

Well, that's a weird compliment, but thank you.

"And the hair! It's shiny and sleek!"

Ah, that is the product of...

"Yes! It's black as the night!"

Say what?!

* * *

 

_BANG!_

I slammed the kitchen door open, looking for the culprit of my current predicament. Ah, there he is! 

"I'll be damn straight.. your husband really annoys me!" I held Ice Knight shoulder and looked him in the eye. Hoping he would help me with my problems.

Just who exactly is my husband? Ice Knight ponders in his head, but decided to ignore Sun and continued kneading the dough.

Ah this.. you have the guts to ignore me! "Listen Wastelan, your husband Judgment is flaunting his good looks to the female clerics. As his wife, you're responsible for keeping him under control.. What are you feeding him anyways that makes his skin glow like that hmm?" 

Blush.

Oh my! Ice is blushing! Tch! 

"Fine, i guess i don't want to know..(it might haunt me in my dreams) My point is, the Judgment Knight are 'cruel and cold hearted' so remind him not to looks so happy! Or else I'm going to freeze his smug face!"

_Shiver._

Ack! It's really cold. Is it me or Ice is glaring at me.. better get out of here!

Hmm? I 'sense' Ice apron's patterned with strawberry. I'm suddenly craving for strawberry ice shaves. But iguess i can't request him now, so I'll just try tomorrow. And why is wearing strawberry printed apron anyway? What guy in his right mind will buy an apron like that? I'll tell Judgment this, i bet he'll find it funny.

"Eat!" Ice points at the pie cooling at the table.. drools.

"Ha, it's really delicious. Thank you! Mmmn,,  _ nom nom _ ." grace be damned,  I shove mouthful of pies in my mouth. Hah, Lesus is really lucky.

As I sat I noticed presence at the door.

Hmm, the females from the kitchen staff. Besides old aunties, some of them are really cute girls. Two girls headed here inside. So i reverted back my graceful and compose image.

"uhmmn, Good afternoon, are we disturbing you both?" One female with a wavy hair, kinda cute isuppose, her eyes are big and she has dimples, looks at us(Ice and me) awkwardly. Of course, Ice Knight is from the cruel and cold faction, while I'm the leader from the warm and kind faction of the holy knights. So its' safe to assumed that there is animosity between us.

"Please do not be alarmed. Sun is just spreading the words of the benevolent God of light to his brothers, that they may see that repentance is the way to save the God of light's children. As such, Sun's heart obligated to reached out to those who do not understand the benevolent God of light's teaching,...." irambled on.. 

"Ahm, that's great!" The wavy girl said. She looks very confused.

This time the petite one approached Ice and she is holding in her hand a box, she reached out and give it to Ice while saying" ...please Sir Ice Knight, accept these gifts and letters. It's from all of us, the girls from kitchen i mean.." she said very timidly.

Ice ; still expressionless, wipe his hand with a towel then accepts the gift and nod.

The two female giggled then bow to me and Ice and hurried out the door.

I felt my face twitch many .. oh so many times.. Even Ice is.. is popular?! 

Dear God of light, what is happening to the females today. Either like a 'mean looking guy' or be attracted to someone sooo 'impassive'.

I narrowed my eyes at Ice and said "Listen well , I'll get to the bottom of you and Lesus Judgment's secret in attracting the ladies.. just wait."

I walked away out of there, still holding the pie.. ofcourse or Ice will kill me for wasting food.

* * *

 

'Ha..ha... ngghh.. no!"

Thrust. Thrust. Thrust.

Ah, i like this position very much, i have a perfect view. Him riding me.. 

I held his hips for support, and go in really fast then slow down again. Ooh,. It's hot inside and I'm loving it. Leaning comfortably at the pillow, i watch with satisfaction while he desperately rides me.

"Mnnm. Ha.. ha... ha.." i slammed his hips over and over. His tear streaked face arouses me so much, " ..doing good Ecilan.." i leaned him closer to me and kissed him. 

"Good.. ha.. so good.. Lesus, please.. touch me.." he leaned back exposing his penis soaking wet.

"With pleasure..." i stroked it. Both of us ready to burst, i thrust very hard and fast. The bed creaks tremendously. 

_Stroke.thrust.stroke.thrust._

"Ooohhh.. oh! Cumming! ...Nghh!" Ecilan held me tight as he cum. It spurt on my chest, his chest and my hands.

"Hold on tight.. Ecilan.." i told him and he buried his head on my shoulders and hugged me. Hugging him back i slammed at him very fast. "nggh,.. ha, Ecilan... here i come.. take it.." i plunged at him up to hilt one more time and cum inside him. The sensation is unbelievable.

Cooling down. I kissed him. Hmm, his tongue is so sweet.

"Lesus?.." he whispered,

"Hmm?" I asked while stroking his head. I'm still very tired so i need a few minutes. Tonight we did it 3 times, and my knees is starting to shake.

"I wan't a bath but i don't think i can stand,. Help me?" Ecilan whispered again..

Chuckle.." Ofcourse."

...

Wince. "Be gentle!" Ecilan said.

I was poking at him using my fingers, trying to widen his hole. Sigh. Next time i really have to pull out and cum outside. Cleaning it is such a bother. But leaving it undone might gather infection on Ecilan. "Ouch.." he wince once more. 

Guess it's only natural. We've done it almost everyday. Next time, I'll be content with non-penetrative sex, or else Ecilan will suffer. 

"I think i drained it all.." as i splash him with water. There's two stool inside. Allowing me to sit and clean myself too. In this minuscule bathroom. We silently washed each other. 

After bath, i sat and started correcting documents, as he started frosting cakes.

It's always like this for us. Sometimes he will tell me things he did today, and asked me how was the day of interrogation. He's actually very talkative in front of me. That makes me unbelievably happy. He is acting natural in front of me, without pretense. 

"You know Lesus, Sun is really jealous today.." he said stopping my reverie.

"Oh, what about it?" I actually know it already. That a few of the female clerics today gave me a second glance. Something about my skin glowing, is this what they call 'after glow'? Heh, might be it..

"Two female kitchen staff gave me a box of measuring spoons, and things needed in baking. And 4 love letters. Sun saw it and he burst out of the door after." He pointed at the box and scented letters at his work desk.

My mouth twitched.

So I'm not the only one huh? 

"In the letter, the female; i believed named Clarice, asked me if i could teach her baking.." he said while still engrossed in frosting the cake.

Snap! I stop writing and place the quill back at the ink. "And what did you reply to this 'Clarice'?" 

He stop moving too, then narrowed his eyes at me very dangerously, then said "I won't accept her if you stop looking so 'happy' and revert back to being 'scary' in front of the many  'annoying' clerics you've attracted so far." 

Gulp. " Deal.." 

* * *

 

I decided to invade the privacy of my best friends and extend my sensing the elements ability to spy on them.

I mean sure, they're men dating blah blah. But how come they seem more handsome than me.. ahem, I mean i cannot allow the image of the 'cold and cruel faction' be shattered in the eyes of the public. They cannot continue being approachable and warm looking.

I found the idiot couple inside Ice bedroom. Whew, seems like they aren't (meaning they're done) doing something perverted. 

Lesus is just sitting, reading documents while Ice is sitting on a chair resting. Geez how boring! 

Oh! Judgment suddenly stand up and look at Ice, hmm what is he doing? Please don't do something that will make want to pull my hair.

...

Then on a rare occasion, the Sun Knight discovered how much his best friend cared for Ice Knight. Judgment gingerly lifted the Ice Knight and place him on his bed. He brushed off some rouge hair out of Ice's face, covered him with a blanket and lean in to give a gentle kiss on the lips.

He blew all the candles off and close Ice bedroom door, bringing with him tons of paperwork at hand.

Judgment face looks happy..

curiosity satisfied, the Sun Knight mutter under his breath with a genuine smile on his face-

" ha.. I want somebody to love too..." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be the last! Some sort of back story for the two..
> 
> I gotta say, i really enjoyed writing this, somehow showing how kind Lesus made me happy. I knew Ecilan is really a happy smiling kid deep inside, so i find them somehow to click,. I'm very sorry for those who do not like this pair. At first i intended to write this taunting my friend (because his boyfriend wear too much black) . 
> 
> I even sang him a song " too much black will kill you... blah blah (to the tune of too much love will kill by queen.) 
> 
> I'm going to write the last chapter as an addendum.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two people he loves.. Lesus tell the tale how he both found them.

Grisia Sun is the first friend i made among the Twelve Holy Knights. He is 38th generation Sun Knight, incidentally my boss/rival. However the rival part was just a façade we had to maintain over the years. Can't be helped since that was the expected from the Sun and Judgment Knight.

We actually get along fine despite his unflagging request. So to keep my sanity when dealing with Grisia'sdifferent level of request; i categorized them as such.

Boss: matters concerning internal affairs, investigations, political negotiations , diplomacy, paperwork, something related to these.

Friend/brother: secret investigations, health, personal favors, saving him from catastrophe(self-inflicted or not) , 

Pet cat: useless stuff, such as retrieval of blueberry treats , beating a dog for him, 

Don't get me wrong, I love him to death.....Either that or he will be the death of me..

But it's thanks to Grisia's 'favors' that I found love.. for that i am thankful..

* * *

 

_few years ago_

I'm afraid that Grisia is just bullying Ecilan to make him a cake. Yes. That is a possible. However, since ialready agreed then might as well..

"Hello?" The kitchen is so dark. Well it's vacation day for the staff so i guess it will be. Hmm, so Grisiatricked me. Sigh. 

_Clatter._

There's someone at the back, I better check. Oh, the door is not locked. 

_Creak._

Will you look at that. He really is Ecilan Ice.

Buu!! Is he wearing an apron? Ice knights supposed to be cold and merciless right? Well Grisia's supposeto be gentle and forgiving, but he is certainly not. 

"Hmm..'bout right." 

I saw Ecilan licked a spoon and smile.

Heh, he's kinda cute.. wait cute? Oi! He's a boy! 

"Somebody there?" He noticed me. I entered the door and said "Grisia sent me." 

"Ah, hello! Ack!" He smiled very warmly, then seemed he remembered something and correct himself look impassive.

"Hahaha,"i burst laughing. I can't help it, he is cute. His face almost feminine , and he's wearing an apron to top it all.

He smiled and seemed to relax.." Lesus..yes? Here, these are for you." He gave me bag of chocolates. As he is still slicing a piece of blueberry cake, he stopped and look at me. "Have a piece, tell me how does it taste like?" I took a bite and cough. "Too sweet!" 

He took out a notepad and mumble while he writes."Lesus, dark chocolate.." i didn't understand this, however he swoop the bag from me and replace it with a different kind. "Here, try these."

I don't really like sweets if I'm being honest. However the expectant look in Ecilan's eyes is hard to disappoint, so i took a piece "hmm. It's good!" They really are. I wonder if he made them?

"Really?! That's great!" 

He exclaimed. He totally forgot to adopt a dead-pan face and smiled from ear to ear. 

Ah, he really is cute.

* * *

 

From then,time to time i see Ecilan. He's gotten good at his 'inexpressive look' and his baking skills. In no time he became in charge of after meal desserts of the Church of God of Light. But still out of personal touch, he makes the Twelve Holy Knights chocolates, specific to our taste preference. We talked for some minutes, have tea together. Things like that. He became my friend.

I really thought he's a thoughtful guy.

One time, when i was sparring swords with him. We exchange blows for 20 minutes still at impasse. He is not a strength type fighter, more of technical. He can withstand attacks whole day and wait for an opening to deliver a fatal blow. This technique requires extreme concentration. Something Ice Knights must have.

"Oh Grisia! Here come watch!" Chikus spoke.

This time Ice made a mistake and cause me my win. That's when i realized that Ice is being conscious of Sun. 

Then when we were eating at the mess , he is longingly staring at Sun. Probably assumed no one was looking because Chikus was making a racket and everyone was busy guffawed.

I was, an exception, because i was looking at him too..

I think he likes Sun...

Of course that was just a theory. Until that day when i went in the kitchen for an errand.

The door was slightly open and i saw Grisia and Ecilan.."Here, that was delicious.. as expected of youWastelan.. " he gave the empty plate back to Ecilan. And went for the door happily, even humming a song..

Instinctively, i ran backwards. I really don't know why. Is it because i don't like people to assume i was eavesdropping on purpose? I really don't know.

I was a few feet away from the door when Grisia saw me,.

"Oh, brother Lesus? Are you hear for Wastelan's cake too? This specific batch is wonderful!" If it is wonderful for Grisia then it's too sweet for me.

"Teacher Neo is looking for you. Something about a trip.." (he's probably going to kill you and bury somewhere.)

With this Grisia dashed with mad speed.

I went and peeked at Ecilan at the door. Probably just to see him, or to just say hello. 

I saw him looking at Grisia's empty plate and blushed. There's a left over cherry. With great speed he took it and ate it. As if he did something punishable by flogging, he cover his face with both hands and said"Gah! Pathetic!"

I knocked startling him,

"Ecilan.. do you like Grisia?!" I asked. I didn't know why i did but i just have to know.

He looked really embarrassed. I was guilty of asking him such personal question, but i still have to know.. wait 'have' to know?

The second he nodded yes to my question, his ears became red as tomato.

I felt a sharp pain inside my chest. I even felt like crying. He looked at me trying to understand my sudden discomfort. I ruffled his hair and said "I'll keep it a secret, so don't worry." 

He looked relieved.

After that i sprinted headed to my room. Open and slammed the door shut. Jumped in my bed and lament..

"Why can't it be me..."

* * *

 

Years past.. times changed... the number of people important to me grew.. 

However two things; two things will never change for me even a hundred years or thousand years past.. 

One is I'm thankful for having Grisia as my brother. He makes my life so interesting.

The other is for Ecilan... he completed me.. He makes me so ineffably happy..

* * *

 

"Knight-Captain Ice." I nodded as we encountered each other in the corridor, he is with his Vice-Captain so i didn't get to say much.

"Knight-Captain Judgment." He nodded in return.

As he passed by me,  he lightly brushed my hands with his..

Like a teenage kid, it made me jolt in excitement.

I stood there dazed looking like a fool. 

Ah,  this is bliss.

I thought i was safe from the eyes of the public because no one is present at the moment. So when Ecilanwas out of my sight, i stared at my hand happily.

However, i was wrong on my assumptions. The place where I picked to act a silly adolescent is in front of Sun's bedroom door.

He slowly opened his door, his eyes are puffy, his skin is pale. His hair half-covering his face.. Looking really sinister he said.....

"Lesus Judgment, I cursed you and your wife... may you get fat from all the sweets.. Hateful! Ah hateful!.."

He slammed the door shut..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nyaa~~ c^(~ ◇ ~)^


End file.
